#2325
Lita: She changed the security system!
Date: 07/11/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
42: Why that bit...ter excuse for a clone.
6969: Hey, I see Mickey's ass!
Lita: *shudder*
2780: Mickey has a donkey?
42: Er...yeah...
2780: I want to ride the donkey!
42: You can't...See, 6969 saw it...in the clouds! Yeah, you know, how they sometimes form pictures if you look hard enough. Heh heh...right, 6969?
6969: No, I see it falling from that wind...OW!!!!
(Mickey falls on the assembeled group of Litas)
Mickey: (gets up) Hey, ladies!
2780 (Still lying on the ground and now looking at the clouds): I don't see it!
Lita: Hello, Mickey. I'm Li...
Mickey: Yeah yeah...you're the real Lita.
Lita: How can you tell?
Mickey: After extensive er, research....how much do you trust Tork?
6969: Hiya, honey!
Mickey: 6969! Always, and I mean, always a pleasure!
2780: Hi!
Mickey: 2780! Hiya!
42: Hiya!
Mickey: Who are you?
42: Nevermind.
Lita: You have to help me.
Mickey: Really? Why?
Lita: Because if you don't, I swear I'll have Evil Mike...
Mickey: Evil Mike, Evil Mike, always with the Evil Mike. You know, you wouldn't be so big if it wasn't for Ev...
Lita (whispering): Hello? Evil bitch trying to kill you all?
Mickey: Oh right...that. Alright, girls...hop up on my shoulders and climb into the window....
Lita: Hey, when that window get there?
Mickey: Well, it was getting harder and harder for Gramps to get his meds dropped off here because they didn't know where here was, so we had a window put in the side of this nearby hill.
42: Are you sure it's not just a convenient plot device?
Mickey: Er....yes.
Lita: All right then No looking up my dress. (Gets up on Mickey's shoulders and climbs through the windows, 42 does the same, followed by 6969, who is more than willing to let Mickey look up her dress).
Mickey: 2780?
2780: I see it now! It looks like it's wearing a funny hat! Oh, okay!
(2780 tries to climb through the window, Lita and 42 pull her up the rest of the way)
Mickey: You all okay.
Lita: Yeah! Need help?
Mickey: No, I got it! (Presses some buttons on his watch and the passage opens, Mickey goes inside)
Lita: That bas....ketball!
42: You're losing you're touch.
Lita: Hey, I'm still sobering up...
(Minutes later, Mickey rejoins the Litas...Lita punches Mickey)
Mickey: Ow.
Lita: Uh oh.....
(everyone looks up)
3000: Mickey! I am shocked! Gallivanting around with my clones like that!
(To be continued...)
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion...brought to you by Splendid Splinter brand popsicles!!!
#2326
Meanwhile...
Date: 07/11/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Schmoe: Well, we're here, but where's MSTBlanca?
Wurwolf: You don't think that %$&#^, PM, lied to us?
Schmoe: That bastard! He still has my comics!
Wurwolf: Well, he could be anywhere by now. What now?
Schmoe: Hmmm... Let's get some ice cream sandwiches.
*Meanwhile*
STG: Jeez, I've been falling for a while... I didn't know we where that high. Wonder where I'm gonna land? Better yet, I wonder if I'll survive...
*Meanwhile*
Tork: NO! I don't want another bottle! Why won't you bears leave me alone! I look NOTHING like a bear cub! How did I end up here anyway? Oh yeah, I wandered off, but I forgot why...
*Meanwhile*
Rex: (in a phone booth) Now watch this prank call, Squecky. (Dials a number) Hello mam...
Squecky: *snicker*
Rex: (whispering) Shut up! (normal tone) Yes, mam. Quick, shut off your bioler! This is the State Boiler Department, and we've gotten reports of faulty boilers! QUICK TURN IT OFF! I don't care if you don't know how to! (Hears an explosion over the phone) Uh-oh...
Squecky: RUN!
*Meanwhile*
STG: Still falling...
ServoTheGreat
SHAZAM!
#2327
<Tork runs from the cave>
Date: 07/14/2002
From: Tork_110
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Tork: Ha! Those bears stink at "Dog and Bear".
<Tork escapes from the cave and gets on a bus.>
Tork: *phew* Stupid bears. What was the deal with them making me pick those giant mushrooms?
<All of a sudden, Tork notices some familiar faces.>
Tork: Buffalo? Nick? TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS?
Note: I'm too tired to write Buffalo dialogue
Buffalo: (tranlated) Huh? You look kinda familiar.
Nick: *gasp* He's a member of GROPE!
Buffalo: Yeah!
<several minutes go by>
Tork: So... Is something going to happen?
Nick: I guess not. We don't want to get kicked off the bus.
<several more minutes go by>
Tork: So... Why are you here?
<Nick tells Tork how Nick and Buffalo and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS got where they are. Buffalo interrupts several times, and only to add unimportant, unintelligible details. TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS hugs Nick.>
Tork: *giggles*
Nick: Why are you laughing?
Tork: Heh heh. It's funny when it happens to somebody else.
<Nick ignores this and tells what he, Buffalo, and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS have been doing since they fell off that cliff.>
Nick: ...And then we got on this bus. We hope to get to MSTblanca, wherever it may be now. (shows Tork a gizmo that can locate MSTBlanca)
Tork: (not paying attention, he looks out the window) Is that my old girlfried? HEY YOU!!! (wolf whistle) ... Nope, it was someone else. My mistake.
<Tork notices the annoyed look on Nick's face.>
Tork: So, what do you plan to do when you get back to MSTblanca?
Nick: I don't know. Same old, same old. You?
Tork: Same thing. Lita has been acting real weird lately, so I'm sure we'll have a nasty revenge plan against your boss soon.
<Everyone nods.>
Tork: (to himself) I need to wear my costume again. I feel so naked without.
Buffalo: (again, translated) Isn't that it over there?
Tork: Huh?
<Tork yells at a passenger before sitting next to her>
Tork: What are you doing with my costume?!
<Guess who>
<I'll give you a hint. This scene takes place at night.>
<Of course, you should know if you've been following the story.>
Sunday: And what are YOU doing whistling at strange women?!!
[PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH!]
<Sunday puts her home made version of Tork's helmet on his head and continues punching while he's blinded.
Tork_110
because who doesn't like seeing Tork get beat up by Sunday?
#2328
Let's go Walnut ranching!!!
Date: 07/19/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(Somewhere in the country...)
STG: Hey, the ground's really close now! Closer! Closer! CLOSER!!! AAAAAAA!!!
*THUD!*
STG: Oh.... Hey I landed on this moist, cloth wrapped piece of meat!
Mr. Strickland: Ow, my back. What the hell was that?
STG: Hello. I'm ServoTheGreat, and you saved my life!
Mr. Strickland: What? One second. JODIE! I crushed my spine, get out here!
(Jodie walks up)
Jodie: What's wrong dad?
Mr. S.: This idiot fell out of the sky on me, and smashed my spine. Use you magic to heal it.
Jodie: Okay then. (reaches into her pocket and pulls out a flask of goat blood, and pours it on Mr. S. and does some stupid chant.)
Mr. S.: Ah, my backs all better.
STG: Well... that was weird...
Mr. S.: Oh yeah, you're still here. Let me cut you from that chair.
(Unties STG from the chair)
STG: Well, thanks guys. I can't stay long. Gotta get back to the others, or they'll ignore me.
Jodie: Why don't you stay for dinner?
STG: Huh?
Mr. S.: Now Jodie, if he has to go, I think he should--
Jodie: Oh, go to the walnut field, dad. (Mr S. dissappears) So wanna get something to eat?
STG: Well, okay then.
(Later at the house, in the kitchen)
Mr. S.: I'm back. Took me awhile though. Walnuts broke through the fence, and I had to herd them back in.
STG: Yeah, that'll happen.
Mrs. S.: Dinner's ready.
(few minutes later)
Mrs. S.: Servo, you haven't touched your food.
STG: Yeah, um, there seems to be a hand in it.
Mrs. S.: Oh dear, the egg beater must have missed it.
STG: Uh huh... ya know what? I think I should be leaving.
Jodie: Why don't you stay over tonight? You can sleep upstairs!
STG: I really have to go--
Mr. S.: Yes, Jodie. He must go.
Mrs. S.: Yes, Jodie. He must go.
Jodie: That's it! You two go to your rooms! (Mr. and Mrs. S. walk off in shame) Servo, follow me.
(upstairs)
Jodie: Now my... um... Grandma, lives in here.
(opens the door slowly. STG sees Lucinda and Lucinda sees STG)
STG: AAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Lucinda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
STG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Lucinda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
STG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Lucinda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
Mr. S.: (from elsewhere in the house) SHUT UP! I'm watchin' my programs!
STG: Um, Jodie, was it? It looks like your grandma melted.
(Pause the action. Yeah, yeah, I heard that you guys used and killed Lucinda before. Well, she's back. Let's just say Jodie brought her back with evil magic, or something.)
Jodie: Yes, yes, yes. Goodnight you two. Tomorrow I'll take you to the lake, where the fish lives!
(She leaves, and turns the light off)
(STG goes to his bed on one side of the room. He notices that Lucinda is watching him)
STG: Um, hi.
Lucinda: Blaghamukayufhjiopekadjksdfdlkj!!!
STG: Uh huh...
Lucinda: BLAGHAMUKAYUFHJIIOPEKADJKSDFDLKJ!!!!!!!
STG: You're scaring me. (pulling a blanket over himself)
(STG gets tired. He begins to blink his eyes, as they slowly close shut. Each time he blinks, Lucinda leaves her bed and gets close, and closer)
STG: STOP!
Lucinda: LKASDJ! (pulls a chain saw out of her Moo-Moo)
STG: HOLY CRAP!
(Lucinda lunges at STG. STG jumps out of the bed, and Lucinda saws it in half)
STG: (at the door) Aaaa, it's locked! (looks behind him, and Lucinda is running at him again. Lucinda chases STG in circles around the room.)
Lucinda: Madjdlkfjsdflkj!!!
(STG gets to the window, and jumps out)
STG: (on the lawn) *pant* *pant* I think I lost her... (looks back up at the window, and sees Lucinda shaking her fist at him)
(Lucinda leaves the window, and you can hear her walking down the stairs. She then erupts out the fron tdoor chasing STG again)
STG: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Meanwhile Mr. S. is watchin' his shows)
Mr. S.: What is all that screamin'? (looks out window, and sees Lucinda with a chain saw, chasing STG in his boxers) DAMN KIDS!!! KEEP IT DOWN!!!
STG: Wait, I got an idea! THE FISH! (sprints to the lake)
Lucinda: LSADJFLKIJJ!!!
(STG makes it to the lake, and runs to the center of it)
STG: Where is it?
(Lucinda follows him into the lake)
STG: *GASP* Fish! HELP ME!
(Suddenly a gigantic bass surfaces out of the lake, and swallows Lucinda whole)
Lucinda: AAAAAAAAA-- *gulp*
(The fish then goes back underwater(how a fish the size of school bus can hide in a shallow pond is beyond me, but oh well.))
STG: Whelp... I guess I better get goin'.
ServoTheGreat
#2329
3000: Well?
Date: 07/19/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Mickey: Yeah?..............
3000: It seems like it's been days since I asked you.
42: Yeah, this has taken forever.
Mickey: I'm slow, ok, don't make an issue of it!
2780: I miss Kitty!
Lita: We all do, dear, we all do.
2780: It's just...wait. Where's the other other other me?
Lita: Good question. Where's 6969?
42: She left a while ago. She said she had a doctor's appoinment.
Mickey: Lucky doctor.
3000: I'm *waiting*!
Mickey: Yeah, I'll get back to you on that 3000. Now as I was saying...
3000: W...why Mickey! Where did you ever get a silly idea like that? I am not 3000! She is! (/a poins at Lita)
Mickey: Oh your knees are all wrong. I got pictures.
Lita: Mickey!
Mickey: There Tork's. Anyway, one of your knees is slightly larger than the other. Heh...you Torg..
(Lita punches Mickey)
Lita: She's still one of my clones, so don't you even dare.
3000: How is that even possible?
Lita: You think I gave all my secrets away after the war? Evil Mike knocked you unconcious and whacked your knees with a hammer a few thousand times. Of course, he didn't have too...but it's looking pretty good now!
Evil Mike: Good! Can you stop mentioning that in every one of our arguments now?
Lita: Probably not.
(Lita grabs 3000 by the shirt collar and starts to take off her headband)
Gramps: Now let's find out who you really are!
Rimmi: Um...Gramps? We already know.
(Two cops...and not one of them is Alan Hale enter)
Cop #1: Good job, ma'am...we've been looking for this psycho for weeks.
Lita: How'd you get here so fast?
Mickey: Well, it just goes to show that you should never underestimate the dumb guy! Yup, things are looking pretty good for Mickey T. Gardener right no...(Cop #2 puts the cuffs on Mickey)...huh?
Lita: Hello? Bad Clone here!
3000: (wrestles herself away from Lita) So long, suckers! (starts to run away, but immediatly runs into a wall and falls down)
Evil Mike: I'll get the hammer! (Starts to leave)
Lita: Get back here, you clone hammerer. (Boy, that sounded dirty!)
Cop #1: Mickey T. Gardener, you're under arrest for the murders of Mortimer, Hunter, Maggot Man, and Lucinda.
Cop #2: Hey, check out this report from the AP, just came over the wire.
Cop #1: (reading) OK, the attempted murder of Lucinda.
Evil Mike: And don't forget that Warren guy! And Sunshine.
Cop #2: Yeah, speaking of which, we still haven't found Sunshine's killer.
Lita: (Nervous laugh) Well, I'm sure she'll turn up eventually...or he! Probably a he!
Cop #1: OKay.....Well, one things for sure...we're going to make sure this dirtbag hangs for everything he's done....C'mon, Dirtbag! (Pulls the cuffs and Mickey reluctantly follows).
Mickey: Um....bye! This could take a while!
(The cops drive off with Mickey)
Evil Mike: Soooo......back to that hammer.
Lita: (Grabs Evil Mike's ear) Oh no you don't...
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Uh oh. Mickey hijacked the plot again.
#2330
Don't know what's going on here...
Date: 07/20/2002
From: TPFKAM
but I'm responsinationating! nmt
#2331
Uh oh, correction to my last reply...
Date: 07/20/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
It's been awhile since I saw Tough of Satan, and I thought that the girl was named, Jodie. Well, the feminine name actually belonged to the guy, and the girl's name was Melissa. So in my last reply when you see the word, Jodie, replace it with Melissa, or it's, um... kinda akward...
#2332
<Tork poins at STG and laughs>
Date: 07/21/2002
From: Tork_110
Noooooo text! (bwoop bwoop)
#2333
Grr...(STG throws a frozen water balloon
Date: 07/21/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
at Tork) *CLUNK* nmt
#2334
Happy Anniversary, Mickey!!!
Date: 07/22/2002
From: Tork_110
<Party mode!>
Whoo hoo! Mickey has been here for a year! Let's celebrate! How does it feel to be here today?
<Someone whispers into Tork's ear>
What? What do you mean "Not yet"? ...Oops!
<A giant cake is wheeled in. Tork tries to push it away.>
(whispering to the cake) Sorry 6969, but you'll have to wait a couple of weeks.
Tork_110
How embarrassing!
#2335
I was going to write an rp reply
Date: 07/25/2002
From: Tork_110
-------------------------------------
but I was making the bestest collection of pictures ever!!!!
http://tork_110.tripod.com/pics/index.html
Yay! I get to promote my website! (Boy, was that shameless.)
#2336
Mickey slaps Tork around with a trout
Date: 07/25/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Heh heh.....(nmt)
#2337
<Lita is talking to EM>
Date: 07/25/2002
From: Tork_110
Lita: Stop abusing my clones!
Evil Mike: But it's fun!
Lita: .... (very angry, about to go into Queen Bitch mode) Would you mind repeating that?
Evil Mike: (mumbling) Fine, Iwon'tcrippleyourstupidclone.
Lita: What did you say?
Evil Mike: I said I won't cripple your stupid clone!!!! Geez, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.
<All of a sudden, a guy in a red robe and a goofy hat enters.>
Tork: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
...
Lita: Tork, this isn't going to be one of those replies where you get really campy and you end up confusing everybody?
Tork: Uhhhhhhhhh, no.
Lita: Good, because I wouldn't want that to happen.
Tork: Of course not.
<Tork leaves so the scene can be reshot.>
-------------------------------------------
What are you looking at? Someone sent me that episode of that show and I just watched it today. So there!
#2338
<Lita is talking to EM, take 2>
Date: 07/25/2002
From: Tork_110
Lita: Stop abusing my clone!
EM: Wow, deja vu.
<Suddenly, 3000 sneaks up behind Lita and...>
Lita: Eeek!
EM: Saaaaay, are you girls going to wrestle?
<Meanwhile, at MSTblanca.>
PM: I sure hope so! Then I could sell tickets.
<Back at Diabolik's Lair>
Lita: Bitch! ...but not as big a bitch as I am.
<EM pulls 3000 away from Lita. Or did he?>
EM: Which one is which?
Lita: What are you saying? I'm Lita!!!
EM: How do I know that you're not 3000?
Lita: Because I'm not wearing a headband!!
<Lita poins at her forehead, but realizes...>
Lita: Huh?
<That's right, 3000 glued a headband to Lita's head. Really! That's what happened!>
3000: Isn't it obvious? I'm the real Lita. (gives EM the best kiss she can, even though he repulses her)
Lita: (to the other members of GROPE) She was knocked unconscious! Why weren't you watching over her?!!
Lita42: I had to read Lita2780 her bed time story.
CaveRimmer: And we were trying to settle a bet.
Rimmi: Come on, gramps. Which one of us has a better ass?
grandmapa: (mutters to himself) For the first time, I wish I wasn't so drunk.
<Lita3000 grabs Lita42's arm, and covers her mouth.>
3000: Hey EM. If you get rid of that clone for me, you won't have to wash Spidey any more.
Lita42: MMM M MM M!
Lita: EM! You stop listening to that clone and help me right now.
EM: (poins at Lita3000) I think I like that Lita better. (advances on Lita)
<Lita realizes that she's in trouble.>
Lita: (Help, guys.) EM, remember all those good times we had? Like all those times you beat up Mickey? (Help.) Don't you remember the Wacky Races? (Isn't any one going to help me?) Look, everybody, my knees are perfect!!!
????: They sure are!
Everyone: Huh?
<Tork is back, and he's better than ever!!!>
Tork: Back off, Evil Mike! The real Lita3000 is over there.
Lita: Whoa, Tork. You sound so confident.
Rimmi: And I've never noticed how handsome you are.
CaveRimmer: And you look like you're stronger than me.
EM: Would you all shut up! I want to smash somebody's knees.
Tork: EM, when will you realize that violence won't solve everything?
EM: Why you!!!!!!!!
<EM attacks Tork, but he quickly finds himself on the ground.>
EM: Gah! I won't try that again. You are strong. Hey, do you think you want to give evil a chance?
Tork: NEVER!!!
Lita, Rimmer, and CaveRimmer: OOOOOOOH!
<Lita and the Rimmers start to fight over Tork. Until...>
Lita3000: Helloooooo! Does anybody remember me?
<Lita3000 now has a gun poined to Lita42's head.>
Tork: I'll save you, Lita42.
Lita3000: Stand back, or I'll kill her.
Tork: No you won't. :o)
Lita3000: Yes I will! ....Gah, what are you doing?
Tork: Nothing. :o)
Lita3000: Yes you are! You, you, you're smiling! Stop that! ....... I......I, I adore you for no reason.
<Lita3000 drops the gun and starts crying.>
Lita3000: I'm too evil for you, Tork! I'm going to go turn myself in.
<Lita3000 leaves. Lita42 rushes into Tork's arms.>
Lita42: I misjudged you, Tork. Will you ever forgive me?
Tork: No, I misjudged you. I was a jerk. Friends?
Lita42: *giggle* Actually, I was thinking....
Lita: Hands off him! He's mine!
Rimmi: No! I was the first person he poined at!
CaveRimmer: (raises her club) I'll fight you all for him.
Tork: Girls, girls! Don't fight! There's plenty of Tork to go around.
Lita, Rimmi, CaveRimmer, and Lita42: YAY!!!!
Tork: Lita can be Nuveena2. Rimmi can be Nuveena3. Oh look! There's manosgirl! She can be Nuveena4. ....You can be Nuveena5 .... You can be Nuveena6 ... Nuveena9 ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<Meanwhile, back on a bus.>
Tork: ZZZ, Nuveena15 ... Nuveena37 ....
Nick: Wow, that Sunday bitch really hit him hard.
Tork_110
Yeah, a dream sequence. Probably one I'll get in trouble for, too.
#2339
Servo Gump
Date: 07/29/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(The bus Tork is on pulls up at a bus stop. Tork gets out, and sits down next a familiar face, dressed in a white suit.)
Tork: Alright, gotta wait an hour, and then the bus I need to get back home will stop here.
(Tork gets bored after a couple of minutes, and looks to his side to see who's sitting next to him. It's STG, in a white suit, with a box of chocolates.)
Tork: Gah! It's you! Servo The Something!
STG: Uh huh. Want a chocolate? Life's like a box a chocolates, and you can't have any!
Tork: Wait... But you just offered me one.
STG: No I didn't.
Tork: Yes you did. Then you abruptly said that I couldn't.
STG: Oh... Okay then. (continues to eat chocolates.)
Tork: Hey, wait a minute... Where have you been all this time anyway? After the whole Dictator thing you dissappeared for a long while.
STG: Huh? I guess I did. Well, here's the story...
(Flashback to at the end of the Dictator War, at the city limits of Where-Ever-The-Hell-This-Is-Ville)
(Rimmer and PM heave STG over the limit line)
EM: (shaking his fist) And stay out!
(Everyone leaves, and STG gets up)
STG: (Jar Jar Binks voice) How wude!... So.... now what?
4 hours later...
STG: Hmmm... I'm hungry...
(Later a Joe Don Baker's Buffet)
STG: Hey, JDB, how about some food?
JDB: Okay. That'll be $4 to get into the buffet.
STG: Money? I'm the Dictator! How dare you ask me to pay!
JDB: Were the Dicatator you dead beat! GET OUT! (Throws STG out)
STG: Poo...
(A group approaches STG. It's 'The Band That Sang California Lady')
Eskimo: Hey, you need a job?
Fish Lips: We need a roadie.
STG: I'll take the job.
Brady Girl: Well, let's get to the band van. We've got a concert to get to.
(Back to the bus stop.)
Tork: You were a roadie for TBTPCL?
STG: Yup, we traveled the country for a while going to concerts, and solving mysteries with a talking dog.
Tork: Well, what happened?
STG: Well, tensions began to build...
(Flashback inside the Band Van...)
Brady Girl: STG fed chocolate to the talking dog again, and it crapped all over my bed!!!
Fish Lips: Yeah!? Well, he's been using my head band for toilet paper AGAIN!
Eskimo: Hey, hey, hey, sure he's made a few mistakes, like when he set my igloo on fire... But at least he keeps the instruments in good condition.
(STG enters)
STG: Um... Hi guys... I was making some raviolis, and somehow I ended up destroying the instruments.
(Scene of the Van speeding by the road, and the door opens quickly, and STG is thrown out)
STG: AAAAAH! *CRASH*
(Back at the bus top)
Tork: Ouch, so then what?
STG: Well, after the bleeding stopped, I found that I was at the Log Cabin the was the birthplace to...
Tork: Abe Lincoln?
STG: Nope. Larry Csonka.
Tork: Whoa...
(Flashback to the Cabin)
STG: Hey, are there tours?
(Troy is the front gate)
Troy: Welcome to Larry Csonka's Birthplace, and the future site to Csonka Land!
STG: Oh.
Troy: Yup, I plan to knock down Csonka's house, so I can build a Amusement Park themed around him. I know it's what he'd want.
STG: Uh huh.
Troy: Yes, so why don't you go look around the house before it's gone.
(Back at the bus stop)
Tork: Did you find anything in there?
STG: Yup, I found a magic lamp. What it was doing in Larry Csonka's house, I have no idea.
Tork: So what did you do next.
STG: Well, I...
TO BE CONTINUED
I don't wanna do all this on my own. If there's anything you want to add, feel free.
ServoTheGreat
#2340
Goooooooooooose!
Date: 07/29/2002
From: bobdenby
I just felt like saying that.******************************
*************************************************************
MST3K makes me want to say Goooooooooooose!
There. Its now MST3K related.
Goooooooooooooooooose! is a fun thing to say.
I think everbody should stop what theyre doing once in awhile and just say Gooooooooooooooose!
You don't have to have a reason.
Of course, if you are in the act of Gooooooosing,
or are being goooooooooooooosed, it is that much more relevant. Or even if you in the presence of a goooooooose.
There is really no limit to its uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse.
Its good to see you cool bboarders are still around and having fun together.
Heres to many more moons of fun!
Cheers!
The Elusive Robert Denby
Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose!
#2341
Bob!! Hi!!
Date: 07/29/2002
From: Carmelita9000
.............................................................
Welcome back to the reply post! Stick around for a while! Stick around at least long enough to read this. I want you to e-mail me. Ok? Please? Are you reading this? Hello? :o)
annakie_up_north@yahoo.com
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
bobdenby is just too darn ellusive,
if you ask me.
#2342
Tork: That's nice..heh heh
Date: 07/30/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
....I have to go....like, now
STG: But I was about to tell you about the time I foiled Watergate.
Tork: (At this poin avoiding eye contact): That'snicebye. (Runs off)
STG: Shoot...
(A prison bus pulls up)
Cop #1: Remember, you guys get 5 minutes playtime while we fix the hubcap.
(All the prisoners file off the bus, and some of them run away enjoying their freedom)
Cop #2: Damn, we need to learn to stop doing that.
(Mickey sits down on the bench....right on STG's box of chocolates)
STG: Hey!
Mickey: What? (Has a sudden realization)...ewwwww...that's not pleasant.
STG: And I was going to offer you one, too.
Mickey: Nah, chocolate gives me gas.
STG: That was way too much information. That reminds me of the time I was in Japan...
Mickey: Japan gives you gas?
STG: No, sushi does. Anyhoo....
(The scene turns to black and white)
STG: I shouldn't have ate that sushi I'm glad school's out for summer I need to do laundry now.
Record Spinning Neptune Guy: People of Earth!!!
STG: The hell?
RSNG: We have come to take over your weak planet once and for al...get out of my air space you bastard!
Krankor: Ah, bite me...bakok!
Space Chief: Why don't you both bakok off?
Prince of Space: Oh yeah, like you know what's good for the planet Space Cheese!
RSNG: Heh heh...
Krankor: Bakok!
Space Cheif: Go back to bootblacking!
STG: What's wrong with bootblacking? I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!
Krankor: Stay out of this!
Prince of Space: Geez Louise Space Cheese! Who dresses you, your mother?
Space Cheif: Oh that's it pal...No one talks about my mother (Prince of Space and Space Chief start playing chicken with their crafts)
Prince of Space: Ha! Try to catch me when I actually go into space!
Space Chief: No fair!
RSNG: Knock it off, you big babies! (Flies in to try and break it up)
Krankor: Bakok! (Also flies in)
(Back to the bus stop)
Mickey: Wait...does this story have a poin?
STG: Japan blew up. The end.
Mickey: Oh...Yay!!
Cop #1: OK, Sparky...back on the bus.
Mickey: You heard the man. (Grabs the smooshed box of chocolates)
Cop #2: Very funny, scumbag...let's go.
Mickey: Wait, let me have some chocolate before I go.
Cop #1: I don't see how that could hurt.
Mickey: Heh heh...
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
No countries were harmed in the making of this reply
#2343
Oh yeah, hi bob!
Date: 07/30/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
(takes a drink).......
Yeah, we're still here! And this part of the board is still spam free for the most part. Occasionaly we get visits from Mistybo..er, Steve and Gre...er, I need a drink.
Oh hi bob!!
*glug, glug, glug*
MTG etc.
*hic*
#2344
<There are two Litas at GROPE HQ>
Date: 08/02/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
<...and nobody knows which is which.>
<<Note from me: I haven't checked this for continuity. There may well be some serious errors. If there are, I take full responsibility if we need a duct tape reply later. Don't slap me or anything!!!>>
42: I know which Lita is the real Carmelita9000!!1! She's the one on the-- OOF!!
<One of the Litas has thrown a lamp at 42, knocking her out. Since nobody is quite sure which one threw the lamp, both mystery Litas get glared at.>
The Lita on the Right: Oops! That just flew over there! <With feeling> Boy, I *do* hope she's ok!
Rimmi: They're identical. There's only one thing we can do to solve this.
EM: I know. We'll just have to keep them both. It's going to be hard for me, having two Litas showering me with affection, but I'll muddle through somehow...
<Evil Mike leers at the Litas. The one on the right looks disgusted. Then again, so does the one on the left.>
The Lita on the Left: Don't be an idiot.
Rimmi: Actually... I was thinking more along these lines...
<She and Cave Rimmer leap at the Litas. A brief scuffle ensues, but it isn't long before each Lita is tied to a chair.>
Right Lita: <struggling against the ropes> Oh, this is really helpful!
Left Lita: Yeah, I can see how this will solve all your problems!
EM: Actually, it solves quite a few. What do we do now, Ass? Throw them in a swamp and leave them there?
Rimmi: Hey... That's actually not a bad idea...
Both Litas: NO!!11!
Rimmi: And I told you to quit calling me Ass.
Mickey: That couldn't have been your plan... Could it?
Rimmi: No. My original plan was kind of like what they do on Survivor sometimes. We ask them each three questions that the real Lita should know, and they write their answers down so they can't cheat, and whichever one gets the most right is Carmelita9000
Both Litas: Try that one!!
Left Lita: I don't want to go in the swamp!
Rimmi: Ok. First question... What is your favorite color??
<It takes a while to write while they're all tied up, but eventually the Lita on the Right holds up a card that says "Red" while the Lita on the Left holds up a card that says "Blue">
Mickey: The one on the left is right. She's told me she likes blue several times. Evil Mike, why are you looking at me like that? What did I say?
EM: This is for taking too much of an interest in somebody else's girlfriend! <Evil Mike punches Mickey>
Right Lita: I don't know what's wrong with red. It's a nice color...
Rimmi: Ok. That's one poin for the Lita on the left. Next question... Why do you sometimes babysit that kid down the street?
<The Litas write again. Eventually the one on the right holds up her card it says simply, "$$$$$." The one on the left takes a while longer. When she does hold up her card, it says, "Because she's the daughter of a family friend, and I always try to be helpful to my friends.">
Right Lita: <reading the other Lita's card> Oh, please. I've never seen such a huge load of horse sh--
Rimmi: Yes, well anyway--
Right Lita: And those neighbors do own a lot of horses.
Left Lita: I know. *shudder*
Rimmi: The Lita on the right is correct. It's common knowledge that Carmelita9000 wouldn't go within 30 feet of The Beast unless she was being paid.
Left Lita: Ok, that's true. I know it. I was just trying to make myself look cool. I wanted you guys to think I'm all nice and generous and stuff.
EM: That sounds like normal Lita behavior...
Mickey: Oh, come on! Lita's into all those ethics and stuff! She wouldn't lie!
EM: Maybe not a big huge bald faced lie, but a white lie to make herself look morally superior to the rest of us? That's so Lita.
Mickey: It is not!
Left Lita: I did own up to the lie almost immediately, Mickey.
Mickey: But--
<Evil Mike punches Mickey>
EM: Quit contradicting me!
Rimmi: None of that matters. What's on the card is what matters. The Lita on the right gets a poin.
Left Lita: Shoot!
Rimmi: Ok. Final question. This is the tiebreaker. It's for all the marbles, and for the undisputed title of Carmeltia9000. <She holds up two pictures> Which of these two pictures of Bono is your favorite?
<Both Litas study the pictures for a while, then they start writing. It is a shock to nobody that when they hold up their cards, they both say "Both Bono pictures are equally dreamy">
Rimmi: Dammit! It's a tie!
EM: I guess we have no choice but to throw them in the swamp. <To emphasize his poin, Evil Mike punches Mickey.>
Rimmi: I suppose you're right, Evil Mike. I'll go get a truck and you can load them in the back...
Both Litas: Wait!!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
There is more to come! I just haven't written it yet! Hang on a minute because I'm about to write it up and get it posted!
((To be continued))
#2345
I guess you're okay Lita, but...
Date: 08/02/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Mickey posted an end to the whole 3000 plot thing, but then again, that led into Tork's dream. So I guess it was a dream that Lita3000 was discovered because of her bruised knee, and whatever you do is okay.
So currently Tork's still coming back to GROPE HQ.
I'm at a bus stop, telling my stories.
Mickey came to the bus stop shortly, but went back.
Everyone else was at GROPE HQ.
PM is somewhere...
Whatever.
#2346
(Mickey punches Cop #1)
Date: 08/02/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Cop #1: Oh that's it dirtbag, you're going d...
Mickey: PUNCHBUGGY BLUE NO PUNCHBACKS!!!!
Cop #1: Damn.
Cop #2: Can we pull over? I need to breathe.
Mickey: (Smiles)
(Minutes later, the cops and Mickey arrive at the police station)
Cop #1: Alright, into the lineup with you!
Mickey: Huh?
(Mickey sees he's standing in front of a height chart. As soon as he takes his position, the door opens behind him. Three other gardeners walk in and take their positions)
Mickey (To a fellow gardener): This is ridiculous! They already know it was me.
Chance: I like TV. I like to watch.
Mickey: I see.........
Cop #1: (From behind glass): OK, send her in...
(A woman walks in crying)
Mickey: Who the hell is that?
Cop #1: It's Marvin's widow, you murdering bastard.
Mickey: He's not dead!!!
Cop #2: Oh yeah! Forgot about that, you can go home now.
(She leaves, but not before kicking Cop #2 in the groin)
Cop #2: OK....ow!
Cop #1: What do we do now?
Mickey: You know, I've already admitted it.
Cop #1: But we have procedures. If we don't follow them, you can just walk away right now because there's no way your arrest will stand up in co...where'd he go?
Cop #2: He left as soon as you said you can just walk home.
Cop #1: D'oh! Well, I guess now we have a fugitive.
Cop #2: That's the 5th one we've had this month!
Cop #1: Well, we'll catch this one. I've already let 4 go.
Cop #2: Let's go rough up that punk at the bus stop! Maybe he knows where he went!
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
I am not your broom.
#2347
Rimmi: It's time.
Date: 08/03/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Right Lita: No! Please!
Left Lita: We don't want to live at the swamp!
EM: Oh, I'm sure it won't be *too* wretched at the swamp once you get used to it...
Right Lita: Rimmi, you don't need to dump us in the swamp. I'm sure this other Lita here will be happy to admit she's the impostor.
Left Lita: I'm not the imposter! You are!
Right Lita: Quit lying.
Left Lita: I'm not lying! You are!
Rimmi: Shut up! Both of you!
2780: You shouldn't talk like that, Rimmi! You'll get your mouth washed out with soap!!
<There is a long pause.>
Left Lita: 2780, I thought you were in bed.
2780: I was! But I'm not sleepy so I got up again.
Right Lita: Well, she does have a poin. It's the middle of the afternoon.
Rimmi: I thought 6969 was watching you.
2780: She was. But then she told me to watch myself for a few minutes so she could talk to that Silly man in the shiny yellow outfit...
Left Lita: Diabolik?
2780: Yeah!
Mickey: He's encased in gold. What's she going to do with him?
Left Lita: Oh, you'd be surprised.
Right Lita: Our 6969 is a creative one, all right. I'm sure you don't want to know, Mickey.
Mickey: <grumbling> Yes I do...
2780: That funny gold man said a bunch of strange words that I never heard before!
<There is another long pause>
Left Lita: What did he say?
<Everybody glares at the Lita on the Left>
Left Lita: Come on! We have to know! Otherwise we can't fix it, can we? 2780, what did he say?
2780: He said "Mmmph! Mph! MMMmmmmph!11!"
<There is a collective sigh of relief from everybody in the room.>
Right Lita: So what are you doing with all that stuff?
<2780 is holding a large pile of blankets from her bed. Kitty is sitting on top of the pile.>
2780: I'm going to use these to make a cool fort! I gotta use the furniture in here...
Left Lita: Ok. Just untie me, 2780, and you can use my chair.
Right Lita: No! Untie me!
Rimmi: Oh no you don't. Leave them both tied, 2780.
2780: Ok!
<Not heeding the protests of the two Litas, 2780 builds her fort out of the furniture in the room, and some blankets. The Litas make good posts to hold up the ceiling, even if they do complain too much. She's almost done, but there's a corner of one sheet that just won't stay up.>
2780: <getting frustrated> It keeps falling!
Left Lita: <a little muffled because she has a blanket over her head> Try using a rubber band or something.
2780: I know what to use!
Right Lita: <Not muffled because there's no blanket over her head, though there's one across her lap> No! Don't do that! Stop!
<Rimmer, Evil Mike, and Mickey gasp.>
Left Lita: What?? What happened?? I can't see!!
Mickey: 2780 pulled off that Lita's headband, and she has the number 3000 on her forehead!!
EM: Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious! <He draws back his fist>
Mickey: Don't punch me! I was telling Lita! She couldn't see-- <Evil Mike punches him twice> OOF!! OOF!!
Right Lita: Ok, I admit it! I'm not 9000. I'm actually Carmelita3000!
Rimmi: Duh.
Lita: <Under the blanket> Why did you do it, 3000?
3000: I just wanted to see what it was like to be you, Lita! Everybody loves you! They love your game! But me? It's like, "No, I don't like Carmelita3000. She has a stupid tattoo on her head."
Lita: Awww... You're not so evil, are you?
3000: Of course I'm not! Is it so wrong to plot to murder somebody, dispose of her body, and then steal her identity?
gramps: Of course not! Where do you think I got my dress?
Lita: Yes, it is wrong. Look, will somebody untie me?
Rimmi: Oh yeah! <She uses her sword to cut Lita's ropes.>
Lita: 3000, I think it's time we had a talk. <She unties 3000 and they step outside.>
<Time Passes>
Mickey: What do you think is going on?
EM: Probably 3000 killed Lita, is disposing of her body and preparing to steal her identity. Anybody want to see what's on tv?
Rimmi: Is there any Vampire-Based Programming on?
<Lita steps back in... Alone.>
Lita: Hi guys!
Rimmi: Lita! Is that you? I mean, is it *really* you?
Lita: Uh-huh! I'm 9000 and everything!
<Carmelita42 sits up on her elbows.>
42: <weakly> That's 9000 all right. <She faints again>
Lita: See?
Mickey: So... What did you do with 3000?
Lita: She took a little trip to "America" if you know what I mean...
Mickey: *gasp*
EM: All right, Babe!
Rimmi: You bagged and froze her so you could harvest her organs later??? Lita, that's sick!!
Lita: I'm kidding. We had a little talk. She won't bother us again.
Mickey: What did you say to her?
EM: Don't be so nosey. <He punches Mickey>
Lita: So. 2780. Want help with that fort?
2780: Sure!
<Everybody laughs and has a good time as they strip the blankets off every bed in the lair and help 2780 build the most kickass fort that ever there was. It's a wonderful Family Togetherness Scene that could only feel more at home at the end of an episode of Full House. Oh for fun!>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
What really happened to 3000?
We may never know.
I know, I know. Continuity problems galore. I'll get 8714 to fix it this weekend.
#2348
<8714, the Carpenter Clone, returns>
Date: 08/03/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
8714: Ok, so I've gone over all the replies since the last time I was here fixing this place. Looks like you guys have quite a mess here. Who made it?
<Lita sheepishly raises her hand.>
8714: You? Aren't you the one who's always nagging other people not to break continuity?
Lita: Yes. So. Can you fix it?
8714: <She sighs, and then pulls out a clipboard. She speaks as she flips through several pages.> I took some notes on things that need to be repaired. Let me be honest with you, there's a lot. This won't be easy.
Lita: About how much is this going to run me?
8714: I have an estimate right here. <She poins to a number at the bottom of her notes.>
Lita: GEEZ!!1! How could it possibly cost that much??
8714: Well, I have to do a good job, don't I?
Lita: Would it be less expensive if you did a shoddy job?
8714: Look. I'm a skilled craftsperson. I don't do shoddy jobs. It would ruin my reputation as an artist.
Lita: Artist? You're a carpenter!
8714: Fine. Hire somebody else. I hear Rowsdower has a carpentry service. He even works without his shirt on--
Lita: NO!!! You do it. Just try to keep it cheap, ok?
8714: Ok. If you're so picky about how this is done, what do you want to do to fix it?
Lita: I'd like to take my most recent two replies, 2344 and 2347, and place them just after STG's "Let's go Walnut Ranching" reply 2328.
8714: Ok... But you see, that doesn't actually fix anything. Your replies have you getting rid of 3000, but then she's still causing trouble in replies after where you want to put yours.
Lita: I know. But Mickey said he was willing to say that his replies involving 3000 are just a dream.
8714: You want to "Just a Dream" him? That's so very rude.
Lita: He said I could!
8714: I'm sure he didn't mean it! He was probably just trying to be nice!
Lita: Look, I would have put those replies there anyway, except that my ISP went down just before I had to leave for two weeks, so I wasn't able too. That's how I wanted to close my story. Besides, Mickey says his replies contain blatant clone abuse--
8714: You mean Evil Mike going all Tanya Harding on 3000's knees?
Lita: Yes. And Mickey doesn't want to get a reputation as a clone abuser.
8714: Well... I *do* want to do what I can to end clone abuse...
Lita: Of course you do!
8714: I mean, just because we're clones doesn't mean we don't have feelings. We're still human!
Lita: Yeah, probably!
8714: We're entitled to rights, dammit!
Lita: You sure are!
8714: Ok. I'll fix it. <She gets to work. There is a lot of sawing and hammering. When she's done...> So now Mickey just dreamed that Evil Mike messed up 3000's knees. What was actually different about her knees was she had a scar from walking into a coffee table or something.
Lita: Oooh, ouch! I have one of those. Check it out! <Lita poins to her knee>
8714: Yeah, I have one too. Coffee tables have sharp corners!
Lita: And they jump right out into your way.
8714: As for Mickey's plot where the cops show up and arrest him, that happened just after you guys finished building that awesome fort.
Lita: Man that was a great fort. You should have helped out. You could have made it sooo cooler.
8714: I wasn't invited.
Lita: You weren't? I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah. I like that the cops showed up after. That's good. I bet one of them even looked at me and said, "Cool fort, Ma'am."
8714: If you wish. Now, what about Tork's dream sequence? Now it happens after you've cleared up the 3000 situation.
Lita: I suppose we *could* go through the expensive process of moving it to just before my replies. But that would only be for dramatic purposes, because people will pretty much know it's a dream way too early if it happens where it is now. But as far as continuity goes, Tork's on a bus, so technically he still could dream about 3000. He doesn't know she's gone.
8714: It's up to you.
Lita: <To her reading audience> Kids, just pretend it's wherever is the least confusing to you.
8714: <Scrutinizing Lita's method of post fixing> Yeah. That's craftsmanship.
Lita: Hey, it works.
8714: Nothing else here seems to interfere with the 3000 continuity, so it looks like we're all in order here.
Lita: Yay!
8714: Now just see if you can keep your friends from beating you senseless. Since you messed around with their storylines and all without changing yours...
Lita: Oh... ick...
8714: <Not wanting to be caught in the riot, seeing as how she helped and all...> I'll just be going now... bye!
Lita: Wait! The fort we were building out of chairs and blankets at Diabolik's lair is still up. Wanna help us improve it? We could use an extra set of hands since the new continuity says that Mickey got arrested in the middle of helping us build it.
8714: Aw, cool! I love forts! But if any violence breaks out, I'm leaving. Ok?
Lita: Fine. Go ahead. Mickey can't attack me for ruining his replies, he's in jail!
8714: I thought you said he said it was ok...
Lita: Just help me with this sheet!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2349
But I want violence, damn it!
Date: 08/03/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Ooooh, I know!!!!!
(As 8714 walks back into rp obscurity to wait for the next time we screw up...shouldn't be a long wait...she's approached by a shadowy figure)
Figure: Nice dress, buddy...oh you're a girl! Did little baby girl get into Daddy's tool box?
(8714 looks to see who it is...It's Bob Vila!)
Bob Vila: Now just give me those before you get hurt, sweet cheeks.
8714: What did you say?
Bob Vila: Give me those.
8714: I'm a little deaf in this ear. Could you repeat that?
Bob Vila: GIVE ME THOSE!
8714: OK, you asked for it!! (Starts beating Bob Vila's knees in with her hammer)
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x3
Ah, that felt good
#2350
(Mickey's been running for days)
Date: 08/04/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Mickey: Ortega, you gotta hide me.
Ortega: Oh, so now you want my help. Errrrn off!
Mickey: Good, I knew I could count on you. Hey where's what's her name?
Ortega: Errrrrn errrn errrn.
Mickey: Ewwwww....
Ortega: Anyway, she left me after that. Now she's shacking up with that Nick character. I don't like him.
Mickey: She dumped you for Nick? HA!!
Ortega: She dumped you for me.
Mickey: Touche.
Ortega: Well, I guess you can stay in the guest house.
Mickey: OK
(Ortega waits and watches Mickey leave)
Ortega: (Picks up the phone) Yeah, he's here. Ten minutes? Great!
Mickey: (Watching through the window): That treachorous bastard. What did I ever do to him? ..........(starts to run away again)...recently?
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x3
Mickey
#2351
I'm sorry. I have to do this.
Date: 08/04/2002
From: Carmelita9000
..........................................................
I tried to restrain myself. I tried to say, "Lita, it's just fiction." And for a while it looked like I wouldn't have to do it. But now--
<Lita accidentally looks at her tv where U2 is on and she sees Bono with his shirt off>
--oh wow... Er... Sorry. As I was saying... um... Yes... But now the yecchy feelings are coming back upon me and something must be done!! So I'm doing it-- (Bono... sweaty... no shirt... shiny arms... But what's with the suspenders?)
<The Bono on TV puts his shirt on, and Lita is freed from his evil Mind Controlling powers long enough to type sensibly>
Ok, here's the reply.
----------------------------------------------------------
<TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS is sitting on the bus with her arm around Nick. She looks out the window.>
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Driver!!! Stop the bus!!!
<The driver pays no attention, so TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS jumps up and pulls on the emergency brake. As the bus screeches to a halt, all the passengers are thrown violently into the seat in front of them. A car smashes into the back of the bus. This doesn't bother TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS, who slides down her window, and sticks her head out.>
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Hey! You!!
Kid on Bike: Who, me?
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Yeah, you! What's your name?
<The kid is about TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS's age. He's wearing thick glasses, and has greasy black hair. He looks up at TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS with a worried expression.>
Kid: Mah naime's Mikey. But Ah don't know whah you would want ta know thayat!!
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Really? My name's Teenaged Girl Who Is Really Too Young For This Line of Work And Should Really Have Her Case Looked Into By Child Protective Services, but you can call me TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS for short! I used to be one of The Seven!
Mikey: Wahn of Seven what?
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: We were crimefighters!! <Mikey looks panicked, but TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS isn't at all deterred.> Where'd you get that bike? It's the coolest!
Mikey: Whay do you want tah know ahbout this bahke??!! Do you thaink Jimmy stole thah bahke?? Everybahdy thinks Jimmy is ah criminal, but Jimmy didn't steal thah bahke... <He bursts into tears> *Ah* did! Thaht's rahght! Ah stole the bahke! Not Jimmy!! Oh, yeh've *GOT* to bahlieve me!
Buffalo: <quietly to Tork> What's this kid tahlkin' bout? Ah cain't unnerstaind a dag-blaimed word he's a'sayin!
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: <Clearly impressed> Really? That's so cool! Mikey, I think you're the dreamiest!
Mikey: Rahlly?
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Yeah!
Mikey: Will you be mah girlfrahnd?
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Sure I will!
<TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS crawls out of the bus through the window and climbs onto Mikey's handlebars. They ride off into the sunset.>
Tork: Aw, that's sweet!
Bus Driver: All right, everybody. Thanks to that little girl getting us in a wreck, we're not going anywhere. Everybody off the bus. Go on, get out of here!
Nick: Don't you want us to stay here to tell the police what happened?
Bus Driver: Now, the last thing I want is for the police to get involved. <He pulls out a machete> I'm a serial killer! Now everybody who wants to keep their innards needs to get off my bus!! Go on, scram!!
<Everybody runs screaming and trampling each other to get off the bus first, as well they should.>
----------------------------------------------------------
There! TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS is finally with somebody her own age! No more cute little high-school girls in ponytails dating dirty old men! That's so gross! I mean it's just sick! Not to mention super-creepy!! Bleck!! P-tooie!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
should have known she couldn't keep focused
while U2 was on her tv.
Rattle and Hum is on.
Critics said it was the worst move of U2's career,
But U2 showed them!
They made POP!!
#2352
[Wurwolf] Oh, for @#@%$#^&* sake...
Date: 08/05/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<My annual RP response. =/>>>
[Wurwolf] ...doesn't *anyplace* around here serve ice cream sandwiches?
[Schmoe] All they've got is soup. Soup, soup, soup! That damn Mickey! He's Fredo to me!
[Wurwolf] Hon, what are you talking about? Mickey didn't have anything to do with it.
[Schmoe] Yeah, I know. I stink and I hate me form blaming him! But @#$$#$^& PM really pissed me off, stealing my comics like that.
[Wurwolf] Oh, don't worry. We'll get that @##@$% bastard for stealing your %#$#^#@ comic books. *And* for lying to us.
[The door opens, and a figure there is silouhetted by the sunlight.] Ah, there you are.
[The figure steps in, to reveal that it's PM.]
[Wurwolf gasps.] PM!!!
[Schmoe] You'd better give me my comics back you %*&$%$# sonofabitch! I've got a steak knife with your name on it!
[PM chuckles sinisterly.] Relax, my friend. *Here* are your comic books. [He gives them to Schmoe.]
[Schmoe] This better be all of them... HEY! This one's all wrinkled! You've been reading them, haven't you!?!
[PM] Err... well... yes. Sorry about that one; I fell asleep reading it.
[Schmoe] Aw, ^%#@#%! This one's all sticky! What the #@$#!~ were you doing with it?
[PM] That's not my fault! Lita threw a milkshake at me!
[Wurwolf] Enough with the @$#@%#% comics! Where the hell were you? And I thought you said MSTBlanca was @#$@##@% in @#$#!%@# Lubbock, Texas! You #@$#%# lied to us!
[PM] No, I didn't. I left the bar's cloaking device on, just in case people started poking around there before I could get there.
[Wurwolf] Whatever. I'm @#@%@$# through with you, Mobius. Come on, hon. Let's ditch this loser. [She gets up to leave.]
[Schmoe follows.] Hmmph! [He flicks his yoyo at PM, and it conks him in the head. He then leaves.]
[PM] OW! Wait, I have a proposition for you two. This plan could give you two just the start your carreer in villainy needs... [He continues talking as he runs out after them.]
[A few moments later, a young blonde woman enters, carrying a "Help Wanted" sign. She goes up to the counter and addresses the cook.]
[Blond woman] Hello, I've come to apply for the waitress position?
[Cook] Can you work evenings and weekends?
[Blond woman] Sure, whatever. I can work whenever you need.
[Cook] Got any references?
[Blond woman thinks for a moment, then shakes her head.] Nope, nobody.
[Cook] Well, more important than that: can you start immediately? As in, right now? I need someone for the evening rush.
[Blond woman] Sure. I need a job right away. A girl's gotta support herself somehow.
[Cook] Good. Welcome aboard; we'll take care of the paperwork later. What's your name, anyway?
[Blond woman flips her hair back, revealing a white headband.] Call me... Carm. [She smiles.]
PM
President of the I Hate Spekkio Club
There. That's one loose end taken care of.
Or *is it*?!?!?!?
Sarcophagus!
Next up:Tork talks about Nuveena. Surprised?
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